I think that my biggest challenge at the moment is carving out study time.
Adrian knows I am loving doing midwifery but is really only supportive as long as my course doesn't impinge on his time and plans. I seem to be getting more and more tired and run down.
Evenings are the hardest time. I come home from university and have to deal with the pressures of the household before I can study. That means housework and dinner and getting the kids to bed come before study time. This is really only an issue because Adrian works nights. I will have to make more of an effort to have constructive study time at university.
On Tuesday this week I had science labs and was unable to attend because Adrian was sick. If I can't manage something small, then how am I going to manage the big things.
Adrian also needs to see his role in a new way. He has to realise that it is more appropriate for hiem to manage childcare, schooling and kindergarten, and Maia's Plunket visits as well as the healthcare for the children. He isn't coping so well I think because he favours the responsibility of housework as a distraction from his tiredness as well as the burden of his responsibilities.
In an ideal world, or more realistically an impossible world, I would be able to manage the housework, children, and my study without even calling on Adrian. My life just isn't like that!
I see that a couple of direct conversations are necessary. From experience of past communication I need to have a couple of action plans in place for us to discuss rather than reach a decision and then let him know how it affects him.
