Dropout rate

As the dropout rate increases the bonds of the remaining students strengthens.

Keeping a Professional Journal

In the confusion about the process of writing a reflective journal, I decided to look at the reference text "Keeping a Professional Journal". It is obviously targeted towards teaching but I can see the aplications for nursing and midwifery.

One of the suggestions in it is that I start with a short autobiography but that will have to wait for a later date. At the moment it seems appropriate to write about gripes and the highs and lows.

One bug that I currently have is that some of the combined classes with the nurses are extremely irritating when content seems to completely ignore the midwives. Another irritation is the fact that all of the books that seem to actually be necessary but weren't on the recommended book list.

Our Rights

We all have the right

• to choose




• to have opinions




• to be respected




• to have needs




• to have and express feelings




• to make mistakes (and be forgiven)




• to accept these rights in others

Deja vu

A sense of deja vu. As a group the first year midwives have to choose a class representative. I have been selected into a job share. I think that we are both a little concerned about how much time it might involve.

I actually feel relatively comfortable in that role, but disappointed that no one wanted to actively take on the position. I fit into that category too. We want anyone to take on being our advocate as long as it's not us.

Two interesting experiences yesterday. I attended the student midwives lunch. Interesting that they said that the strongest and most important source of support was without a doubt the other students. There seems to be some uncertaintly about the future quality of the course.

Unwell

Didn't attend lectures yesterday. I felt unwell, but was it really enough to stay home in bed? Could I have attended in the afternoon? The issue for me was being run down and tired. Obviously this not only impacts on me now, but will be extremely important when I am a practising midwife.

I can cope on very little sleep. Adrian suggested that my sleep isn't very peaceful and that I apear to have difficulty breathing. Maybe I have some form of sleep apnoea in relation to being overweight? I definitely have to get that checked!

Journal Online

On Thursday I asked the course convenor about whether it was allowable for me to put an edited version of my reflective journal online. She said that as long as recognisable identifiers were removed for privacy reasons that this would be okay.

Long Road

Real midwifery still seems a long way off. Lots of theory and foundation building. It is essential to keep the goal in focus.

*EXTRA*

*EXTRA*

I decided to add my journal to my site, and Abracadabra! here it is. I will need to check with the university that as long as I maintain confidentiality and edit appropriately that I am allowed to do this.

First week

Midwifery - first week.

Social Model vs Medical Model

Medical = Technocratic

Obviously there is a move towards the social model, even by medical practitioners entrenched in a technocratic way of operating. I think that part of this move is the result of consumer demands.

I can see how I was affected by my social situation, social pressure, and the susceptibility to accept the "expert" guidance in my birth process. This was strongest when I was pregnant with Lucas, and still present with Maia.

I recognise that I had a choice with Maia to stand for a home birth, or wait instead of being induced. I had a wonderful birth experience. I had an induction and waterbirth (almost) with minimal intervention. Why do I still dwell on it? Do I feel guilty? Or do I still have questions to ask? Or do I just have to get over it? How much influence was the medical model or even CYA on the birth experience?