Experience

Two things I learnt today. First, when talking to a woman only relate a personal experience if it will create a sense of empathy for her. Relating my experience is midwife-centred instead of woman-centred. I could hear myself relating something and realised that it didn't contribute much value.

Second, and most valuable! It has been obvious and reinforced time and time again. Don't ever overlook or ignore experience just because I might have learnt differently, being proud, be feeling stupid, cocky and confident. Experience counts for more than the fresh new learning. Reading a book, doing an assignment or test, don't count for as much as years and years of experience. And remember that on the ward we are a team providing care. Remember all the bad, sad and silly stories whenever I go out on practice or after I graduate.

A good point J* mentioned was to trust my instincts. Also reinforcing the classes to look at "the whole person" not just taking obs. Consider their mood and coping and support as well.

Hospital Placement

I knew I would have heaps to write today. I didn't sleep very well last night because I'm worried about Adrian and nervous about today. I felt very guilty about waking Adrian up and getting him to take me to the hospital. This is exactly what I was worried about when I realised we would not have a second car before my clinical placement.

I was really nervous but felt prepared because I had read up in my practice handbook and planned to do the activity book that we had been given by our lecturer. I ended up working with J* and we were far too busy for me to even consider being nervous.

Everything seemed very haphazard. Apart from how busy we were I really enjoyed the day. Mums care for their babies and we care for the mums. I need to try and find some tomorrow to go over my goals with J*.

Assignments

On the rollercoaster ride now. I'm very pleased that so far I am getting A's. I know the first B or C will be a shock. I guess it's easier to do a good job when you enjoy the course material. Midwifery feels right every step of the way.

I have three assessments due next Friday and a life sciences test on the 13th of June. I really need to get the essays out of the way quickly so I can concentrate on the sciences.

I'm really looking forward to getting the stethoscope and sphygmomanometer this week. Then I can get lots of practice.

Presentation

A very powerful day. We presented our model of midwifery partnership and the fabulous tohu whakakotahitanga. I think everyone in the class wants a tshirt with the logo.

We were all extremely nervous and afterward I think we all felt a little lost because our initial purpose had gone. Would we still stay together as a group and for study? It looks as though we have already demonstrated it by studying life sciences together in the library study hall. We've proven to ourselves that we have another function to keep us together.

I feel very proud about what our group accomplished and my personal contribution in designing the logo. The other two presentations were also very powerful and emotionally moving.

Biggest Challenge

I think that my biggest challenge at the moment is carving out study time.

Adrian knows I am loving doing midwifery but is really only supportive as long as my course doesn't impinge on his time and plans. I seem to be getting more and more tired and run down.

Evenings are the hardest time. I come home from university and have to deal with the pressures of the household before I can study. That means housework and dinner and getting the kids to bed come before study time. This is really only an issue because Adrian works nights. I will have to make more of an effort to have constructive study time at university.

On Tuesday this week I had science labs and was unable to attend because Adrian was sick. If I can't manage something small, then how am I going to manage the big things.

Adrian also needs to see his role in a new way. He has to realise that it is more appropriate for hiem to manage childcare, schooling and kindergarten, and Maia's Plunket visits as well as the healthcare for the children. He isn't coping so well I think because he favours the responsibility of housework as a distraction from his tiredness as well as the burden of his responsibilities.

In an ideal world, or more realistically an impossible world, I would be able to manage the housework, children, and my study without even calling on Adrian. My life just isn't like that!

I see that a couple of direct conversations are necessary. From experience of past communication I need to have a couple of action plans in place for us to discuss rather than reach a decision and then let him know how it affects him.

Dropout rate

As the dropout rate increases the bonds of the remaining students strengthens.

Keeping a Professional Journal

In the confusion about the process of writing a reflective journal, I decided to look at the reference text "Keeping a Professional Journal". It is obviously targeted towards teaching but I can see the aplications for nursing and midwifery.

One of the suggestions in it is that I start with a short autobiography but that will have to wait for a later date. At the moment it seems appropriate to write about gripes and the highs and lows.

One bug that I currently have is that some of the combined classes with the nurses are extremely irritating when content seems to completely ignore the midwives. Another irritation is the fact that all of the books that seem to actually be necessary but weren't on the recommended book list.